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I spent an entire year finding lesbians,” she says. Huckins ’16 met at an open house for the Office of BGLTQ Student Life at the beginning of the school year and have been happily dating since—but they’re the exception.
“I actually have a book in my room called ‘Finding the Lesbians.’” At a school where gay men are more easily encountered, addressing the question of where the lesbians are involves engaging in a larger discussion of existing stereotypes about lesbians and the fluidity of female sexuality. Huckins, a Crimson Arts comper, recalls a conversation with a friend: “We found it easy to rattle off the men who are openly gay in the Class of 2016, but we could name fewer than 10 women,” she recalls, pausing to consider the significance of her statement.
“I don’t think it’s something Harvard talks about a lot,” says Lauer, in reference to the disparity in the number of gay men and gay women on campus.
Female students who identify as gay, especially those like Lauer who are not involved in specifically queer groups, recount trying and often failing to find other women of their sexual orientation.
It’s something I’ve always thought about, but I’m just not sure.” Caroline K.
“Everybody knows about gaydar for men; only queer women know about gaydar for women,” continues Peskoe.Let’s say there are 40 people in a room and I’m attracted to all of the guys and all of the girls.There are nine guys who are gay and one girl who is queer.” Jinadasa recounts breaking up with her boyfriend last year partly because she wanted to have a relationship with a woman.“I could not tell you what defines a lesbian on the Harvard campus,” says Sasanka N.Jinadasa ’15, who identifies as pansexual, meaning that she is open to relationships with people of any gender.