Trouble dating in college
In many cases, our major source of how to get women to like us are our peers – and that’s often a case of the blind leading the blind.
Moreover, those who are blessed with a seemingly-innate affinity to women – “Naturals” in PUA lingo – often don’t what they’re doing.
It’s more socially acceptable for women to admit that perhaps they could use some help in getting better at attracting a partner – whether for romance or sex.
As a result, there’s an entire industry built on women’s dating advice, from magazines to books to TV shows.
They’re just being themselves; they don’t know how to articulate it into anything other than “I guess women just like me”.
It’s incredibly frustrating to be a young man That’s where the pick-up community comes in – it’s filling an economic niche, a void in the marketplace.
As I’ve said many times before, men are socialized to believe that to be masculine is to fuck; the more notches on your metaphorical bedpost, the more of a man you are. If he wanted to get better at basketball, it would seem like the most normal thing in the world to find a trainer to help him improve his skills, build up his fitness and zero in on his weaknesses.
At the same time however, our society teaches us that for men, being good with women is a binary state; either you’re skilled at talking to them, interacting with them and seducing them or you aren’t. But to want to improve at one of the most fundamental areas of human life is shameful.
Others may feel so insecure or unsure of themselves that they can barely bring themselves to say “hello” never mind working up the nerve to ask a woman for her number.
And in fairness, there’s a lot to learn and appreciate from the Pick-Up community.
I’ve spent time in it myself in the beginning of my own personal transformation.
This unhelpful attitude can frequently be found in the comments section of articles talking about the PUA community – the phrase “losers”, “freaks” and the like are tossed around fairly freely, which reinforces the idea that In many ways it’s easier for women.
Women are socialized to be more open with their feelings and insecurities, to not feel ashamed for asking for help or admitting weakness.